Our Greatest Gift

2009-01-19T10:15:00.001+08:00

If you are feeling my blog is rather "out-dated", it's because I am writing in my the other blog.

=)

2009-01-01T23:49:00.003+08:00

HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009!

I hope we'll be happier and healthier this year and the coming years... There are so many things to look forward in 2009. I just can't wait to see how our life together getting better!

2008-12-15T23:46:00.006+08:00

Our little rascal in action.

It's an amazing feeling to see how your children grow up everyday. No longer a helpless baby but an "trying-to-be-independent" toddler. Being so busy with sewing orders nowadays, sometimes I missed out seeing zy in his funny actions. He can be a tyrant a home (especially when he bullies his toy Barney) but overall he is still nice, cheerful and helpful.

zy is turning 14 month-old this month but he behaves like a 2 year-old. He is learning to speak and sing (if I did not hear wrongly). He "invented" alot of actions and ideas by himself such as the motion of jumping without lifting his legs off the floor. He can already sort of communicate with us by talking, pointing, nodding, smiling or children hand signs. Till now, he can say:

"-nana" --banana
"-pls" -- apple
"-gurt" -- yogurt
"bar-" --barney
"baa" -- sheep
"moo" -- cow
"-haw" -- donkey
"-cock" -- peacock
"ba-" -- bath
"pear, bear, bag, baba, mama, bus, truck, clock, boy, car.... and many more". Just some words I can think of now with my sleepy brain.

I am hoping that he can talk before he goes to childcare next year so that it will be easier for him and his teachers and classmates.

Oh... zy is going to school soon... time really passes so fast!

2008-12-01T13:35:00.004+08:00

jw is complaining again, for me not updating my blog for so long. It's not that he does not know that I have been real busy with sewing and rushing the orders. Gosh. I think I have sort of lost my mind. Too many things too little time.

Anyway, I almost called it quits coz I needed a break. Imagine sewing for the whole week and not having much time for your child. I kinda felt guilty towards zy coz the whole point of me choosing to be a stay at home mum is to be with zy as much as possible. But I was so busy with sewing that he was a little neglected. So I declared to jw that Sunday shall be my off day. And off we went to the zoo for the first time together!

We had a great time there although we were there for only an hour but it was already exhausting for us... blame the humid weather!

2008-11-13T13:50:00.003+08:00

I never expected jw to be my blog's bestest reader. I started this blog to pen my feelings and thoughts while zy was in my tummy since I stopped writing diaries for a long long time. I was hoping that this blogger thing will still exist when zy grows up and he can read what his mama wrote for him and about him. For him to cherish and feel our love for him.

jw msged me this morning asking how come I did not update my blog for so long. well, I have been busy. Just this morning, I managed to start decluttering my table. It's always easier to mess things up than to fix them. I always have a hard time to reorganise and clean up my things. Not because I like mess or I am lazy, but because I always have other better things to do at that moment. I just receive some orders for pouches and I have to start working on them. But with my messy table, I just can't do anything.

Ok, will start packing soon...=P

2008-11-03T10:40:00.002+08:00

Something i did this morning, in an hour! Happy!

2008-10-30T20:31:00.005+08:00

I love bags, branded bags but I never really own one. Because:

-firstly, I am not sure if I can take care of them by diligently cleaning them every few weeks or months (yes, I'm a messy person FYI).

-secondly, I do not know if I can carry the look, i mean, look like a taitai.

-thirdly, I am scared of losing or misplacing the bags (very forgetful me).

-forth, I am terrified of being robbed (my heart beats faster if I carry a rather expensive bag).

-fifth, most of the time I need a really big and slouchy kinda bag so that I can throw all my stuff in and that's it. Rummaging through my bag to find something has become a habit.

-sixth, I "heartpain" spending the $$ to just buy a bag (perhaps I did not grow up in a rich family and money was really hard to earn or even save). If I have the $$, I would rather buy lots not-so-expensive bags.

-seventh, I am too lazy to change bags coz I will tend to forget to bring this and that. Now after having zy, I only use three bags - toscano sling, kipling slouch and baby couture diaper bag.

-eight, I would rather avoid "gossips" or "green eye".

Anyway.

I have been barking on jw to buy me a branded bag as a consolation for the pregnancy and birth of zy. But all along, I did not have the heart to look or choose. All I wish to know and have is jw's sincerity and love for me.

And he has been really very sweet.

Ever since zy came into our lives, we bicker more because of different mindsets and expectations. No more couple life but family life and we took quite some time to adjust. But we are doing better. Alot better. And I know that jw still loves me as his wife more than as zy's mother and I think this is really important to us. To stay connected, respected and loved as husband and wife.

And yes, I got it.

2008-10-29T08:58:00.000+08:00

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Happy 1st birthday, Zhuo Yan.

2008-10-27T08:03:00.001+08:00

Last year. 27 Oct 2007.

This year. 27 Oct 2008.

To our little rascal:

May you grow up healthy and strong, happy and blessed, and be a fine man. We will love you with all our hearts, unconditionally and forever. Thank you for coming into our lives and making us complete.

Lots Love and kisses,

Papa & Mama.

2008-10-23T10:32:00.003+08:00

jw is out to laos till tomorrow evening. And I just received my pattern yesterday. So happy! zy is napping now so I have some time to myself. Showering, blogging, checking mail, cleaning up our room, and hopefully cutting fabric!

geez, i need 36hrs/day.

2008-10-22T13:25:00.006+08:00

5 days to zy's 1st year birthday. Happy!

A small family gathering is what we always wanted. Too much a hassle for a party. And we wish to let zy grow up in a not-so-pampered environment. No showering of gifts and presents, no extravagant birthday celebrations. But, there will be lots of love for him. Love is what he needs and what we can give him unconditionally and wholeheartedly.

Since our house is small, I am trying to bring zy downstairs to the playground and grasspatch to run about. Looking for butterflies, dragonflies, leaves, flowers, birds, sky... Appreciating nature.

Soon, I'll be introducing simple craftwork to zy. Hopefully he can grow up to be a little more arty-farty and creative.

2008-10-21T08:57:00.004+08:00

There is no jealousy. Coz I feel blessed to be able to spend everyday with Zhuo Yan, witnessing every of his milestone reached. Children grow up so fast and if you missed their growing up stage, you missed it.

Going for my sewing class later! Happy. And I can't wait to start my xmas sale. Things are looking good so far.

Pls, pattern come quickly.

2008-10-19T22:01:00.004+08:00

There are times I feel otherwise about my life now as a stay-at-home mum to Zhuo Yan. Sometimes I envy friends who travel for work commitments, thinking I should be living a life like that too.

But... Looking at zy's angelic face (he is sleeping beside me now), every sacrifice seems worthwhile...

2008-10-17T15:50:00.002+08:00

Zhuo Yan starts walking ALL BY HIMSELF today!!! *beaming mummy*

2008-10-16T21:36:00.005+08:00

Our little rascal never fails to amaze us every day with his little actions.

It's fascinating to watch a child grow. And it is cool to be parents. Yes, sometimes we do feel the toil, frustration and tiredness, especially now that he is beginning to show his character and voicing out his own thoughts and views. But, uncontrollably, we still love him more each day.

You can never imagine how smart kids are nowadays. Maybe it's all about evolution.

Little rascal is turning one in two weeks and is starting to behave like a policeman of the house. Walking (holding hands) around and supervising the house the moment he wakes up. Rejecting to play with his toys but play with whatever he finds interesting in the house (like pots and pans, door-stopper).

Everyday is tiring for us, but we are enjoying. =P

2008-10-14T21:28:00.003+08:00

Happy 2nd anniversary. A happy one.

Two years of marriage. Seven years of together-ness. Alot of patience, accomodation, giving in and trying. We have experienced almost them all.

I wish for a better life for us. A life full of love, blessings and happiness.

Let's fall in love... all over again. Every single day.

2008-10-06T23:53:00.002+08:00

My mind is blank now. Maybe it's time to sleep.

I kinda like my life now. Or should I say, I have gotta used to it. Waking up at 6 or 7 plus in the morning and sleeping around 11 at night. And the whole day is occupied with Zhuo Yan, sewing, eating, resting, shopping during the weekends... Not sure if I wish to change it. The routine. My comfort zone.

Now that Zhuo Yan is reaching toddler stage, he is more fun to be with. And I enjoy being with him more these days. He makes me angry, frustrated, laugh, giggle, and do silly expressions and actions. Forget about trying to be pretty and demure with him around!

2008-09-18T21:05:00.005+08:00

2 weeks ago, zy refused his milk bottles completely.

2 weeks ago, zy started sleeping through the night.

Few weeks ago, zy became more attached to me than before.

Just today, zy decided that maybe he should start "creeping" (prelude to crawling).

I was so elated that I jumped up and down!

Have been waiting for the day that he will crawl but no matter how I force him, zy just refuses. I already gave up on that and am waiting for him to just walk. But today he surprised me and even clapped his hands when I praised him.

A mother's joy.

I don't know when did I ever become so motherly. Look at my style and dressing, no one will ever doubt if I tell them I am not even married (if you ignore the ring of course).

Now I am enjoying motherhood so much that I wish to have another baby. So that jw, me, zy and baby can play together!

Glad that I made the choice to stay at home and be with zy. I am not sure if I can put in as much effort for our next baby but I will try. If zy can help me in taking care of his younger sibling, it will most wonderful.

And yeah, my sewing business is starting pretty well. Sold my first work within a day after listing it. So happy!

2008-09-12T13:37:00.003+08:00

zy is turning one next month. How time flies. Talking about time, I have been a lazy bone for more than a year. Staying at home, learning to paint and sew and trying to be a little more domestic.

Somehow, I kinda enjoy this kind of life. And I am starting to appreciate the time spent with zy. zy is growing real fast and sometimes, I am amazed by his brain power.

Now at 10 and half months, zy is already behaving like a young boy, reaching most of the supposed milestones except for crawling. He can:

-wave hello and goodbye,

-clap hands,

-cruise along the furnitures or walk with our support,

-express his happiness and displeasure,

-use and understand a few sign language like "more",

-pick up flashcards as requested (almost 100% accuracy),

-imitate hopping, dancing,

-show us where his head and tummy is,

-look for us by searching the house (knowing our individual favourite "hang out"),

-understand many words and objects like fruits (apple, banana, kiwi, pear), toys (ball, mickey mouse, doraemon, winnie pooh, froggie and many many more),

-play mini basketball,

-stand without support for 10 seconds and slightly more,

-call mama, baba indiscrimately,

-talk in his own baby language,

...................and the list goes on.

zy is really our darling boy. So looking forward to his 1st birthday (and hopefully, he can already walk!)

2008-09-03T09:55:00.002+08:00

Heard of "doggone days"? Now we have "maidgone days".

Yes, we sent maid back again. Got to survive another month without one but it feels rather good to less one stranger in the house. No more someone peeping at us secretly from the kitchen, no more having to stand her odour, no more putting up with her nonsense. And of course, it also means: more private space for us in the house, more initiative from everyone to help out, more space in the car, more savings as we do not have to feed another mouth and so much more.

Anyway, I grew up without a maid (my mum is not a maid ok) and I can live without one.

Maybe someone just help to clean the toilet for me?

p/s: Have been trying to upload zy's video here but I could not do so. 89M big. Can anyone help me?

2008-08-26T21:47:00.005+08:00

Trying to feel blissed.

Not because I don't feel blessed but sometimes, life gets too busy or tough to feel the love.

It's easy to get married but to stay married, it's never easy. Too stay passionately married, it's even harder.

Life takes a toil on us. Work, family, children... too many to stuff our tiny brains. Where is the time for love?

Time flies and we are reaching the second year mark of marriage. Together for more than seven years, it's amazing to both of us on how we managed to be stuck to each other for so long (we have short attention span).

Love.

We still have a long long way to go.

2008-08-22T18:42:00.002+08:00

true but not the mental illness part... but think about it, every human has his or her own state of unconscious mental sickness, however, extent of seriousness varies...

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

2008-08-21T22:40:00.004+08:00

Zhuo Yan's new hairstyle. Jointly cut by jw and me.=P

Not so bad huh.

It's never easy to look after your kiddo and work from home at the same time. Time never seems to be enough. When he naps, you work. When he is awake, you got to entertain him.

I finally managed to finish a zip pouch to be listed in my shop after so long. Satisfied~

Zhuo Yan is turning 10 month-old and you cannot imagine the rate he is learning. He is like a sponge, adsorbing what he sees, hears and touches as each day passes. There are alot of times he shock us by showing us how much he actually knows.

I am still comtemplating if I should return to the workforce.

Baby bonus, 4 months maternity leave, maid levy, tax rebates..... Argh. Money.

2008-08-14T22:48:00.007+08:00

Life is moving on well. At least it's how others perceive when looking at me.

But some things can never be erased in memory, in life.

Little mischief zy is doing good too and he has been trying to walk around the house with me holding on to him from behind. Guess he prefers standing and walking to tummy down or crawling. Well, he has not learnt to crawl yet (already 9+month old) and I think he is likely to skip this stage of development.

My everyday is occupied and time seems to pass faster than before. I don't know why and I don't wish to find out why. Maybe it's better for me, to keep my mind sane with so many on my to-do-list.

So looking forward to X'mas.

--> zy's first trip to Sentosa and the Underwater World.

2008-08-04T16:06:00.003+08:00

Took this picture before we knew the news.

We are trying to start afresh and today I just promised myself not to think about it anymore but I still cannot forget every single scene.

I know it's impossible to turn back time but if god were to give us a chance, please grant us our little wish. For that something "magical" to happen. For everything to turn out the way we prayed for.

I still cry silently in my heart sometimes and I hope I can get over soon. We still have a long journey to go and I cannot break down.

Love. Sorry.

2008-07-31T10:33:00.000+08:00

痛，在心坎里。
永远的遗憾。

对不起。

2008-07-28T11:51:00.002+08:00

I am sad. Life has been rather tiring recently, or this is how I feel. I don't know. Maybe crazy hormonal changes are wrecking my tiny brain. I just do not enjoy the things I used to enjoy.

I need a break.

It's not about zy nor jw nor the life I am living now. Maybe it's just me. I don't know.

Perhaps I am expecting something. Something "magical" to happen. Something to lead me back to who I used to be.

I want to enjoy a little laughter, a little sadness, a little emotion, a little feeling.

2008-07-16T14:18:00.002+08:00

Our handsome boy. *thick-skinned mama* I think zy looks like Nat Ho or rather if he were to grow up and look as good as him, I will have no worries! Hahahahah!!!

2008-07-11T13:52:00.001+08:00

2008-07-10T14:02:00.003+08:00

Something I've read today...

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Top ten surprises of new parenthood

Surprise #1: Your relationship with your partner will change (for the better definitely!=))
Surprise #2: You'll have no idea where the time goes (so true... I really lost track of time sometimes.)
Surprise #3: You may look different
Surprise #4: You'll join an exclusive worldwide club
Surprise #5: You'll be stronger than you ever imagined (Yes. I have never expected myself to be so strong both mentally and physically. Never in my whole life.)
Surprise #6: You'll make "mistakes" you never anticipated
Surprise #7: Your friendships will change (only keeping friends worth keeping and not wasting time for the unnecessary.)
Surprise #8: There'll be times when you hate parenting
Surprise #9: You'll be overwhelmed by love (and other emotions) (=...()
Surprise #10: You'll have to let go sooner than you think (I have learnt to live life alot easier.)

No matter how much you prepare for it, parenting will blow your mind.Your kids will challenge you, bring you to tears, crack you up, and make you forget what you urgently had to do. They'll shatter the life you knew into a million pieces. Then they'll put it back together, like a stained-glass window, into something infinitely more complicated and beautiful.

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The past few days have been a real challange for me. I am glad I survived. Well enough to look back and smile.

Taking care of zy almost alone for so many days has really tire me out (jw was travelling and I moved to my parents' house). My family did help a fair bit after coming back from work (grateful=)) so most of the time, I was alone with our little rascal and can you imagine, I was so afraid that I could not cope.

zy has been kinda clingy since last week and kept saying "mamamamamama" and wanting me to carry. I do not know if he is calling me but it seems that he needs me to be around all the time ( I can only go to the washroom when he naps!).

I think I need amazingly well handling zy. I brought him to take the MRT, to shopping and to the library! I could see that zy was really very happy and I was really happy too.

I have finally overcome my phobia. I am a real mother now.

*^_^*

2008-07-03T13:28:00.002+08:00

I remember disliking David Cook during his initial stages in the recent American Idol 7. Well, I just did not like his face. Arrogant? Definitely not in my hunk list. But as he progressed to the later stages, I realised he is actually quite talented and has a rather nice voice. And I think he has his own chracter. Yes, I prefer hanging out with people who are true to themselves, their character and principles. Not those "fake-kos", braggers and those trying to be someone who they are not and never will be. So miserable huh.

jw told me a few days ago that he heard this originally Mariah Carey song sang by David Cook. I guess it's this song - Always be my baby. Beautiful song.

Lyrics:

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time

You'll always be apart of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....

You'll always be apart of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

Always be my baby

2008-07-02T16:04:00.002+08:00

FINALLY I decided to change my template!

Well, I have been lazy. LAZY. Just lazy to change anything. But life is ever changing isn't it?

I love this new layout. Colourful and vibrant. Just like my life now. Oh yah, just few days ago, I told jw that our life is becoming boring. Sometimes it is. But think of the positive side, this is what stability is all about.

I am trying to reorganise my life. AGAIN. Finding time for everything.

Sometimes, I wish time will tick slower. Wait for me. Before I grow old and realise that I have not done anything.

Yeah, gonna get Jamie's Oliver cookbook someday. Becoming a housewife really.

Who cares.

2008-06-29T21:28:00.011+08:00

zy has turned 8 months a couple of days ago.=)

One cheeky rascal. SEE his cutesy little tooth at his bottom gums?=P

-----------------------------------------------------------

Today we brought him for his first class in his life - "Mozart: The Child Prodigy" at the national museum. And to our amazement, zy was the youngest in the workshop! (Well well, of course I read that the class caters to 6 month olds to 6 year olds before I enrolled him). Anyway, he enjoyed the first part with music and guitar and singing until Mozart appeared and his interest plunged to zero. Guess Mozart did not look too good or handsome to him, with his white odd wig and weird dressing. Haha.

What zy enjoyed most was at the Murmurs playground where there was a pool of colorful playballs.

Frankly, it was not exactly a fantastic workshop. Could be better if children can learn more about musical instruments and not the life of Mozart. Who really cares about how Mozart lived during his time anyway?=P

I am planning to, perhaps, sign zy up for a play gym class so that he can learn to socialise with other babies of similar age. He really enjoys playing with kids but since he is still so young, not many children like to entertain him, especially those who are more than 2 year old. Maybe we can give him a younger sis or bro?=P

ANYWAY.

We experienced a SAGA last week. Our maid "ran away". Not that she eloped, but she requested to be sent back to her agency. -to be continued........- no mood to write about her now!

2008-06-23T11:34:00.005+08:00

For the first time, I made a stationery case for myself.

I think jw's jaws dropped when he saw it coz he never knew his spoilt wifey can actually sew!=P

I did another pull string pouch and am planning to do a coin pouch later. I am getting a hang of sewing and stitching. Not that difficult afterall!=) What I enjoy most is mixing and choosing the fabrics and the creativity in coming up with ideas of the designs. Well well, I am still into creativity work. Haha.

Anyway, zy still surprises me everyday with his little actions and words. Now his rattles on "ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba..." non-stop everyday! And jw proudly claims that zy is calling him! Oh well. I told him it's just one of his new found words and there are more to come but he refuses to concur.

Okie OKie, zy calls "baba" first ya!=P

2008-06-19T13:40:00.005+08:00

i really sleep alot these days. Morning part, i'll leave zy to jw's mum and i'll just zzz. Today i slept till 11am. Gosh.

these days, i am living my life like a taitai i think, except that i do not have a car to drive around and i do not go out to shop or have high tea. But somehow, time seems to pass even faster than when i was working. Not sure if it is good or bad, but at least, i do not feel the unnecessary stress of life.

zy has been real cheeky as he grows up. I think he is the replica of jw. Really very cheeky. Sometimes, I cannot control but laugh out loud at his actions and expressions and the way he tries to get my attention. Haha.

Yesterday, he said "mamama" and reached out his hands, wanting to be hugged. My heart fluttered. Although I know he still does not say wat he means, I still feel so touched.

p/s: jw has been sweet. All along.

2008-06-17T14:12:00.002+08:00

I ate calamari rings for the first time in so many years and I am feeling so guilty now (don't ask me why). I should not have eaten but I still did.

Recently I have been feeling kinda zombie. Recently means these few days. Other than busy with my work and zy, life seems to be in a daze. I guess I need to slow things down and relax. And reorganise my brain.

Anyway, zy is teething now. I am waiting eagerly to see his first tooth! Must be super cute. =) But he is a bit grouchy these days, always wanting to be carried. Oh, and I am "stimulating" him to crawl during playtime. I hope he can crawl soon!

Last Sunday was brother's birthday. 21st birthday. We had a nice simple dinner at the SAF yatch club. Recalling back to my 21st birthday (well, that was quite some time ago), we also had a cozy dinner at clarke quay while for sister's, we had a siglap road coffee club. All three of us chose not to have some big bashes but rather, family time. Our family has matured greatly over these years and all I can say is for the better and happier.

Look-alike Meter

2008-06-12T12:58:00.001+08:00

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Pedigree - Ancestors

2008-06-11T14:17:00.006+08:00

I have not been actively taking pictures of zy nowadays. SO, today I decided maybe I should take some pictures of his playtime moments and our little rascal was as enthusiastic as I was.

He actually posed for this picture! So naughty looking!! ARGH~

And he kept grabbing my camera to see what it is all about.

And took a picture of me. Half faced.

And I struggled with him to take his BIG head picture.

And then we "wrestled" because he threw away my camera!! Hahahaha!=D

2008-06-09T20:19:00.004+08:00

Today I afternoon-napped for a record of almost 4 hours.

I think I must have concussed or fainted. I felt like I was in another world! IF the sky was to collapse when I was sleeping, I do not think I will even realise. This is how TIRED I was.

When I woke up, zy was sleeping in his rocker. & jw's mum told me that he was wide awake for 3 and half hours while I was sleeping. That's a record by him! **Well well, mother and son both broke records today.** Half hour later when he woke up, he smiled so sweetly at me and started talking to me, as if telling me what he had done just now. He babbled non stop and I was actually laughing and giggling at his expressions. So cute.

I'm dearing zy more everyday.

Last night, I thought about my life and how different my life is now with zy. If I am not married, my life will be just rushing, working, eating, going home, sleeping and then the whole vicious cycle starts again everyday. Life is not about the sickening cycle. Now that I am married and a mother, there are so much I look forward to everyday, be it just lying around with zy or bringing zy for a walk. Or going for a short walk with jw. I am happy with anything everything.

Life, life, life.

Our little piglet buttons down!

2008-05-30T08:43:00.011+08:00

For the first time, ever since Zhuo Yan was born, I slept for a straight 7 hours.

All thanks to jw for his love, seeing me looked so lethargic (although I did not feel that I looked so). Imagine surviving on 3-4hours and intermittent sleep everyday for seven+ months? Or even longer if you wish to include the pregnancy days when I had to carry a "big ball" with me 24hours a day.

Anyway. I feel slightly more refresh now. Energy for another playday with our little rascal.=P

By the way, brought zy for a swim yesterday. zy loves swimming and will wave his hands frantically whenever I show him his swimming suit asking if he wants to go for a swim. He can "swim" rather well now and he always amazes me everytime we head to the swimming pool for a dip. Now he can swim like an adult, kicking his little feet and busy his hands in the water. I only need to hold him with one arm while he swims his "frog style".

Last night, we finally had zy with us having dinner at the dining table together. Since now that he can sit quite well, we decided to sit on his high chair and got him a couple of teething biscuits for him to meddle with. He seemed delighted and busied himself with the biscuits while jw and I had our dinner.

2008-05-28T14:52:00.009+08:00

Yes, we are doing very well. Almost p*****t (taboo to say out the word=P).

Zhuo Yan has just turned 7-month old yesterday! And we are really so happy to see him growing up healthily and happily, albeit being more cheeky and playful. And also, more active! Sometimes I think to myself, I am lucky to have him young because I'm sure I will not be able to catch up with his energy level if I am older.

Anyway, zy is just too adorable to be ignored. You will just want to play with him no matter how tired you are!=P

Recently I also noticed that he is learning fast. Perhaps, good memory. I am thinking of sending him to some playgroups or courses to uncover his potential (if he has). Still thinking though. Pardon me to say something (not that I am thick skinned as his mother!), I think zy is quite a smart boy. Well, I hope he has a kind heart too.

Well, for me, life has been real busy. Blogging has taken a backseat in my daily routine and now my days are filled with zy (playing with him takes up almost 60% of my day if jw's mum is looking after him together and 90% if I am handling zy alone), going for a quilting class, setting up my biz site and sewing! Yeah, I am doing sewing now and I must admit that I never thought I would sew someday in my life. I mean, I never pick up any needle (except cross stitching) or know the techniques of sewing. But really, I am enjoying it (Oh well... I was so much of a science geek and now I am becoming so artsy or you can say, arty-farty!). Even though this sewing biz cannot earn much, I am contented with all that I have now. I do not have to deal with work stress, deadlines, weird colleagues, unreasonable bosses, company "rules" whatever. All these can be really sickening.

I hope my sewing biz will grow and eventually, link up with some charitable organization to help the less fortunate. Or maybe, single mothers or needy women.

Jw told me that day that he can feel that I am a happier woman now. Yes, I am. With life and with everything.

2008-05-12T20:28:00.001+08:00

2008-05-08T10:56:00.004+08:00

Very busy recently. Busy with zy, my biz setup and miscellaneous stuff. Gosh, how i wish i have 36hrs a day!

zy is quite an angel nowadays (except at night when he wakes up more than 3 times=_= --> super tiring for me n jw). He is trying to talk. It's pretty amusing looking at his expressions when he tries to tell us something. & when I reply him, he will look at me and listen attentively before continuing with our little conversation. so sweet. i think he will be a real gentlemen next time i hope. hahaaa.

sometimes when i look at zy, i still cannot believe that he is my son and i am his mother.

life is so real (i don't know what this sentence really means. it just came out from my head=P).

oh, i hope my biz will get going soon. finally doing something after idling for so long. & u cannot believe what I am doing. Not even my mum. I think her jaws must have dropped when I told her what I am planning to do. hahahahaaa.

zy has started solids but it seems that he does not really like porridge these days. Maybe I have to change my feeding strategy or his menu. Hm. But but, he loves fruits! apple and banana we have tried and he loves them all. great. next comes the veggie!

okok, i typed this entry within 3 min. amazing right? well, time is so precious now!

<-- our cheeky big boy.

2008-05-05T12:40:00.001+08:00

ZY - Growing and Learning.*^_^*

2008-04-30T21:04:00.004+08:00

finally brought zy for swimming!

promised him alot of times but always postpone due to rain or "busy-ness".

& zy was soooooo excited yesterday, frantically kicking his legs and waving his hands when we told him we were bringing him for swimming! He seemed to know what we were telling him!

Well the thing is, he was not scared of water at all even when he splashed water into his eyes and mouth. What a dare-devil! Argh!

Sometimes I wonder what is life all about. About chasing after dreams? money? work? I really don't know. All I know now is that I want to be happy. And zy has taught me about simple happiness of life. Sometimes, his silly actions and contagious laughter really made me smile the whole day. By watching him grow up being healthy and cheerful, I feel contented. True contentment from within.

& from zy, I learnt to be grateful to what I have now. A supportive family and a loving husband. I used to always lament about quitting my job and giving up my career for zy. I envy my friends who work, have a more interesting social life and earn big bucks. But the fact is I did not realise that I am actually the envy of my friends, who yearn for a stable life and a happy family.

There is never "enough" in our lives. I realised the more we desire for something, the more we don't get it and the more frustrated we get. What for make ourselves miserable? Life is already too short for us to enjoy.

To treasure and make the fullest out of what you have is all we can do.

2008-04-28T11:48:00.008+08:00

Zhuo Yan is 6 month old!

Time really passes so fast nowadays that I can hardly feel my body and mind changing. Yeah, I am almost reaching my targetted pre-preg weight but I have to accept the fact that my figure is no longer the same as before. But it's ok. Well, I feel more womanly! (Though I still dress like a school girl sometimes and some people do not know I am already a mother.=P) I feel so much older (maybe wiser?=P) now. Perhaps more responsibilities makes one more grown up.

Anyway.

I am starting to enjoy being with zy. He is such a darling (a rascal sometimes!). He loves it when people praises or plays with him. & he loves observing and trying out things by himself. & of course, he loves looking at and smiling shyly at girls and ladies(carrine right? hahahaaa).

Gonna feed him porridge for the first time today. I am sure he gonna love it.

zy is such a glutton! Just like his papa!

oh, did anyone noticed jw's changed image? Hahahahaah!

2008-04-23T08:10:00.002+08:00

After what happened yesterday, I am even more certain of my decision to be a SAHM until zy goes to childcare.

zy was all well and happy before noon till he took his nap. & when he woke up, he looked at me and was somehow, signalling me that he needed me. I thought he wanted milk so I warmed a packet of my expressed milk, meanwhile, playing with him with a puppet to distract him.

But I sensed something was wrong.

His lips were turning purple, as well as his hands and legs. Maybe he is cold and hungry, I thought. So I carried him up and tried feeding him. He rejected drinking and started to whimper and weep, looking at me with his pitiful eyes.

I knew it. He was not feeling well.

So I quickly checked his temperature. Gosh, 38,4oC. Tempted to give him infant panadol immediately, my mind and heart told me to just head for the clinic or hospital.

Everything happened so fast. In just 5 min, we were in a cab heading to Mount Alvernia hospital.

zy was shivering and silent. In a daze. I hugged him real close and kept my spirits high by singing and talking to him.

I must stay calm to make him feel less afraid and more secured.

When we reached the hospital, his temperature rose to 39.9oC. The doctor had to give a shot to bring down his temperature.

zy was in a daze all the while.

Within my heart, I was crying. But I could not show it.

I just continued carrying, singing and talking to him to keep him sane.

I was hoping that the fever will not burn his brain.

Fortunately, thank god, everything is ok now. The moment the temperature decreased to 38+oC, he resumed his cheeky self again.

That's my boy.

If I was not at home, I cannot imagine how things will turn out.

My decisiveness and focus were finally put into good use. Being in control of what I am doing and how things are happening, I feel calm and confident that zy will be alright with me around.

& zy needed me.

When we finally got home, I felt instant relieved and tired. & an urge to cry.

Thank god.

2008-04-14T10:57:00.006+08:00

Our Proud Rascal Yeo.

zy loves to be praised for things he does! Look at his exhilerated expression when I say "whoa! zy is a clever boy!"

How can we not love him more everyday?*

2008-04-09T20:29:00.006+08:00

Can you believe it, i actually brought zy out by myself (with maid of course) today!
For so long, I never dared to bring zy out without jw coz I'm scared that I cannot handle zy alone. Well, kids are hard to predict. You never know when he will throw tantrum or if accidents will happen (Touch wood!) due to my clumsiness.

Anyway.

To satisfy zy's curiosity and taking a break from the usual home activities that we do together(there's nothing much anyway), I decided that it's time for US to be independent. Cabs are available everywhere and moreover, I have a capable helper with me. SO Why not?

& to my amazement, zy was a good boy! He was so happy to go out that he really "listened" to me when I told him that he must behave. Oh well, he busied himself looking around while I shopped and was babbling his baby language along the way.

& you know wat, zy is a lady-killer. I mean, real lady killer, especially aunties. Almost everywhere I go, aunties will smile and talk to him and he will reciprocate by smiling ever so sweetly. So cute that aunties kept praising him and asking me about his age and blah blah blah.

I become the entertainer.

Guess he will inherit his papa's trait of "sweet mouth"! Argh!

--> look at his cheeky face!!

2008-04-07T10:58:00.004+08:00

happy sunday at vivocity!

zy loves to go out nowadays. I mean "loves", not just likes. Oh well, he gets really excited looking at people everywhere busying. He would smile sweetly to people talking to him, especially ladies! Well well, we are not sure if we should be happy or worried. zy may grow up to be a lady charmer...hahahahahaah.

Now zy starts to strike conversations with us. Sometimes while we are chatting, he will join in our little chat with his "babbling" and "rattling". So cute! He wants to be involved in everything we do, be it sitting at the table with us while we have dinner or watching tv. Well, he also loves to be the supervisor of our maid! Argh!

zy has become the sunshine in our lives. Yeah, there are many times jw and I have to compromise on our lifestyles for our little rascal, we love our life now. zy has somehow brought us closer, though we tend to bicker more especially over zy's stuff.

But really, we are trying to be loving as before. And it the trying part that makes us love each other and treasure our together-time more.

I'm feeling good!=P

2008-04-03T12:40:00.003+08:00

zy had his 3rd jab yesterday and is running a fever now.

We got a shock when his temperature shot up to 38.6oC around midnight as he seemed to be his usual cheeky self in the evening after the jab. Of course, as his papa and mama, jw and I did not have any good rest.

On the other hand, we are very happy with zy's development till now. & most importantly, he is healthy and happy. Oh, zy loves his PD! Maybe he was the one who first carried him when he is outta my tummy? Hahaha!=P

Okie I am getting lethargic now suddenly. Eyes closing... Better get some rest before zy wakes up for his medicine.

2008-03-31T17:45:00.003+08:00

Separated. Not.

Any marriage has its ups and downs. Though we are not feeling the down yet, we are feeling the stress.

Stress from not communicating well.

Stress from channelling too much attention to little zy that we neglected each other's feelings.

Stress from not knowing how to express our care and love for each other.

Stress from too tired from routine life and too little time for each other.

I regretted cursing jw when we quarrelled yesterday. I lost my cool, lost my sanity.

And worried my family.

Why can't love be simple. Why can't happiness be simple. Why can't life be simple.

Deep down inside, jw and I know we still love each other, just like the first day we fell in love...

& of coz, we love our little rascal too.

& yes, I'm feeling better.

2008-03-27T14:05:00.000+08:00

Happy 5th month, Zhuo Yan!!

2008-03-24T14:42:00.002+08:00

our precious flipped today finally!

I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo HAPPY!!!!!!!!

zy is getting cuter and more adorable everyday. When he flipped just now, he was so delighted with himself that he kept smiling! So amusing! Hahahaahahha! Yeah I know zy is a bit slower in his motor skills compared to other babies coz he is always taking his own sweet time. & doing anything must depend on his mood, just like his mama!=P

p/s: jw and I are learning to skate! Yeah! When zy can cycle, he can chase after his papa and mama while we skate!=P

2008-03-20T16:06:00.002+08:00

our little rascal.

& I am the Disipline Mistress.

ARGH.

2008-03-17T14:22:00.003+08:00

<-- taken yesterday before I went hysterical when zy "accidentally" rolled over while on tummy playtime.

Have been trying to take a more relaxed mindset when bringing zy out but guess we still feel kinda uptight (coz we do not know when zy will be cranky).

Alot of times jw and I bicker over small stuffs concerning zy but we are learning to respect each other's way of handling our little rascal.

Afterall, 执子之手，与子偕老. At the end of the day, we hope to be as loving and be able to grow old together, holding each other's hands.

These days I have been thinking of what I really want to do in my life or should I say, in this life. Life is short (I am not being pessimistic!). Definitely there are regrets and what can we do but to minimise the extent or the number of the regrets.

I have quite a number of "not-so-right" decisions till now in my life. Of coz, I do regret. Sometimes I would wonder if my decisions were otherwise, how will my life be now? Maybe I should not even wonder or imagine. Life is good now, with jw and zy and my loving families. What more can I ask for?

I believe that "God has everything planned for me, for us" (although I am not a Christian).

Anyway.

I have bought a working table and a "something" to create a working space for myself at the balcony. I am so happy! Finally I have a corner of my own.;) Okies, I am startin

g a business, working from home of course. Hopefully everything will be smooth.

Dead tired now. Played with zy for almost two hours. Sure, I am looking forward to more challenging times with zy.

--> cheeky small piggy yeo

2008-03-12T14:38:00.002+08:00

okie, I have another achievement.

I managed to bathe zy all alone by myself this morning. By myself means I prepared and carried the bath tub and then clearing all the mess that zy created.

*beaming*

Wanted to wait for mum to be back to assist me but zy was too good a boy to deny his favourite time of everyday. I think zy really understands whatever I tell him. He does not fuss whenever I "talk sense" to him. He looks at me and listens and then carries out the actions that I told him what a good boy should be doing.

I am so happy. So happy. So happy. So happy. So happy. So happy. So happy.

2008-03-06T09:38:00.000+08:00

Independent ZY!=)

2008-03-04T11:12:00.000+08:00

ZY rolls left during tummy down time!

YEAH!!

2008-03-03T10:24:00.005+08:00

some friends come and go. some stay in the heart forever.

Juli is going back to Indonesia for good. To marry and have a family of her own. Deep down I feel happy for her that she has found the right man, to even think of settling down.

Yes, women are usually the ones who give up or sacrifice her career, passion, friends and life. All to be with her love and to exchange for a happy family.

*Juli if you are reading this entry, this is what I wish to say to you:

I'm so happy for you, that you have decided on you life direction and you are ready to give all for love.

I'm glad that we were in part of each other's life journeys. Well, you know life is short and it's all about fate that we met and become friends. Thank you for all treasured moments we shared.

Hope you will enjoy staying in your cocoa plantations and make lots babies. Haha.

Have a blessed marriage and new life ahead ya.

You'll be fine, no worries.*

--------------------------------

p/s. Today zy lifted his head for the first time during morning tummy time! I'm so happy! *beaming mummy*

I was so surprised till I forgot to take pictures... =P

One & only pic.

2008-02-29T13:49:00.002+08:00

cheeky zy happily sucking his fingers.

Friends, even jw, asked me if I was too busy to blog these days. I would say yeah. My everyday is occupied, especially now that I have found a direction in what I wish to focus in.

Have been thinking alot lately. For ideas, concepts and my life.

I'm glad I have matured over these years, especially being a wife and mum now. People say as woman reaches different stages of her life, she exudes a different kind of charisma and grace. Some women are afraid of ageing, but I feel otherwise. I feel life gets better as I grow older and I have more control over my life and what I want to achieve. I have more passion for life and I am starting to feel that life is beautiful afterall.

So is love.

2008-02-28T16:46:00.008+08:00

Sometimes I wonder how fast time will pass especially now that I am so called a SAHM.

I don't know what really happened last week but I just could not find time and energy to blog.

Anyway, I have been kind of lethargic for the past days taking care of and playing with zy. Training him on tummy down and flipping. ZY has great with his verbal skills but when it comes to motor development, he is a bit slow all because of his laziness and all the pampering from his Papa and grandmothers. So I become the fierce mama who always pushes him till he gets really frustrated.

jw has been sweet. Cheering me up with his not-so-funny jokes and small little actions when I feel tired and down. I love the rose bouquet that he bought for me last week. It did make my heart flutter and I am a happy woman again.

Oh ya, zy is offcially 4 month old. So we decided to shave off him bald after his magazine photoshoot audition(which obviously did not turn out well since he hates phototaking).
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Here he is, our mischievous "botak" son.

2008-02-15T09:51:00.007+08:00

记不起曾几何时因为心痛而哭。

初恋分手那一天？祖父去世那一天？还是。。。？

忘了。

昨夜，忍不住哭了。

前天带孩子去打疫苗针。庆幸他一滴泪都没流，是个strong boy。到了半夜却发烧了。一整天呆在家照顾他，亲力亲为。只希望孩子快康复。怎知到了晚上，他开始闹别扭，跟着号啕大哭。无论怎么抱怎么哄都无济于事。

决定送表姐出去时顺便带孩子去兜风。很多人说小孩最喜欢游车河了。

可是孩子却不喜欢。哭得更歇斯底里，好像快抓狂似的。

我只有紧紧抱着他。

心里很怕。好像快被撕裂的感觉。

好不容易安抚孩子睡着，我躺在他身旁静静地看着他。。。

忍不住哭了。

心好痛。

从来没想过对孩子的爱有多少。

现在终于知道了。

p/s. 今早，喂饱孩子后对他说：“妈妈很疼卓谚，不要让妈妈担心了好吗？”。孩子看着我，微笑，然后握着我的食指。我又哭了。

2008-02-12T14:57:00.000+08:00

this year's cny is definitely better than before. Although I no longer belong to the group of ang pow receivers, now we go everywhere as a family of three.

recently i realised zy has really grown up alot. sometimes i'm just too busy taking care of all his needs that i forget to take a closer look at him. Just yesterday, he learnt to say something new, in his own language of course! I was so amazed that I kept laughing and giggling and he reciprocated. hahhaahhahah. then he repeated his new learnt language again and again before breaking out in chuckles loud and happily.

oh, did i forget to mention that zy loves to watch tv? argh!

zy loves to read as well. Whenever i read him stories, he will try to engage in a conversation with him by cooing and gurgling and all the baby talking. As if he is trying to tell me his version of the story from what he sees!

okok enough of zy, i can go on writing a hundred pages about him!

anyway valentine day is coming and i'm so looking forward. of coz, we r not celebrating on the day itself, right dar?=P everyday is valentines to us when there is love!

2008-02-05T10:27:00.000+08:00

CNY is coming.

gonna keep our room later. well, every since zy appeared in our lives, our room seems to be cluttered with his story books and baby magazines.

have been so lethargic for the past 3 days. waking up almost 2-3 times per night for feeding. byebye to my swimming and gym regime. i simply have no energy!

zy has also been tired. sleeps alot. maybe he had a busy time during the weekends. we brought him out on both days for shopping and eating. hahahaha. can't bear to leave him at home without us! but recently, he has been quite cranky while we were outside so we had to take turns carrying and pacifying him. Imagine so many pairs of eyes looking at me while I rocked and sang to him? No image anymore!

anyway, sometimes i find zy's expressions very cute and funny so i love to disturb him at times.

well, i always tell zy "zy is mama's toy and mama is zy's toy!"

2008-02-01T15:01:00.000+08:00

Our cheeky Zhuo Yan.

Rainy day.

Cheeky zy is sleeping so soundly beside me now, with my fav lisa ono's music playing in the background.

seems like zy enjoys lisa ono too.

just now i laid zy by the window to watch the scenery outside. Raindrops splattering on the window like music to our ears. zy was so fascinated that he squealed and cooed, as if talking to me about what he was seeing and hearing. And even when the thunder was so loud and the lightning so glaring, he was so happy watching. At least for half an hour.

Everytime in his room, I'll on the radio to FM92.4 for classical music. Smiley zy loves it.

Looking at his face now reminds me of his sweet face on the day he was born.

Exactly the same lovely angel look.

2008-01-30T09:06:00.000+08:00

just now at the balcony with zy sitting on my lap, i felt a sense of inner peace.

watching the rushing buses, cars, working men &women and children heading for school. zy and I enjoyed some quiet time together.

i have never felt so blessed.

when i woke up and saw zy in his bed, he looked at me and smiled so cheekily. And we talked. Those little baby talks and good conduct teachings from me. haha. Everytime he coos or squeals or babbling his own language, I follow suit. It's our little conversations and he seems to enjoy them alot alot alot.

had a root canal treatment last night coz my gums were swollen and painful. now i'm perfectly ok again. i realised the more you fear about something, the worse it becomes. I was not scared about the needles, numbness, swelling, pain, bleeding. I just slept and when I woke up, I'm already back to normal.

yesterday's painting class was great. It has been such a long time. Watching others enjoy painting is enjoyment to me as well. I hope to paint forever if i can. To encourage myself, i bought myself a paint equipment box with easel. I'm SO HAPPY.

SO HAPPY.

will join my other classmates for a nude painting session soon.

& yeah, I got jw to buy me a espirit sunglasses for valentines. my style. chic.
thanks dar!*

feel like going for a swim now.

later will be pineapple tarts baing session.

yummy yummy.=)

2008-01-28T10:21:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 3rd Month, Zhuo Yan!=)

Recently zy has been showing his true colors! Well, we have brought him out with us every other day, be it shopping, hair cut, meals out etc. Most of the time he is well behaved but there are times he threw tantrums. jw and I had a hard time pacifying him and carrying him around till our arms ached.

Now that zy has so much curiosity everywhere he goes, he hates to be carried in the baby way. Must carry him with him facing out so that he can look and supervise his surroundings! Looks like I don't have to hit the gym anymore hahaha. Imagine carrying a 7+kg big boy for 1-2hrs plus all the walking and rocking. Argh!

anyway, we are happy with our lives now.=) Although sometimes I get kinda fed up with zy's tantrums, the moment i see him smile cheekily at me, my heart melts immediately! And jw has been a good father(though sometimes lazy) to zy and a nice bf to me. No matter how tired he is, he will try to take over when he is back and be as loving as he can.

yeah, now jw and I don't spend alot couple time together but to us, it's the quality and not the quantity. Coffee breaks, petrol pumping sessions, chatting over dinner... & lots more couple moments to come hopefully.=)

Our first movie night out, something we are looking forward to for this coming chinese new year! CJ7!

Going back to painting tomorrow!

2008-01-25T12:23:00.000+08:00

zy is going for a photoshoot later!

Hopefully he will cooperate and give his biggest smile. if not, no choice! hahahah!

2008-01-23T11:03:00.000+08:00

Like what I always said, life gets better everyday.

jw just got a promotion and I'm so happy for him. Of course, happy for myself too coz the more I don't have to work! hahahahahaha! congrats to me too! well well, that doesnt mean I will become a full time SAHM cum housewife. It means that I have more liberty to do things I like!

oh yeah, we also changed our car. not upgrade but to cut cost. we got ourselves a super brand new second hand black mazda 3. Cool. Per month we pay less for instalments with the new car=more savings!

And lastly but most importantly, zy is growing happily and healthily. This morning's tummy down time, he surprised us by lifting his head and turning from left to right! Nowadays he keeps cooing and gurgling and squealing, so much of trying to talk.

I told jw, I think zy is gonna be a linguist when he grows up!=P

2008-01-19T16:05:00.000+08:00

Naughty Zhuo Yan with his playmat.

He was only interested in posing for picture taking!

2008-01-15T19:14:00.000+08:00

Should little ZY be a model for magazines?

Yeah there's a kind offer but we are thinking... just not sure how his pictures will be published and in what kind of articles...

2008-01-14T12:11:00.000+08:00

my prized item from jw during our super nice shopping spree at suntec city.

i love to play with the toys vending machine. jw never understood why. he thinks it's a waste a money but to me, it's about making up for my lost childhood.

i never had a chance to play with the machines when i was younger. only my siblings did. so i was always standing by their side and watched how thrilled they were when they got the toy they aimed for.

yesterday i was soo happy. not only we had a great shopping time with zy being such a good boy, i got my most favourite red Melody without even praying hard. hahahaa!

anyway, my cheeky boy is soooooooo playful again!

2008-01-11T11:40:00.000+08:00

Lazy Zhuo Yan during tummy down playtime.

He simply refused to lift his head up!

2008-01-09T14:55:00.000+08:00

the toughest job in the world is being a mother.

lost my cool yesterday when zy was wailing and crying his lungs out. no matter how i coaxed or carried, he just screamed. i was so upset really. i was not sure what has happened to him and i cried. i was so stressed that my milk supply decreased so much so suddenly.

at that very moment, i regretted having a baby. i regretted being married.

the worst things and people to experience at work can never be compared to taking care of your child. meeting all his needs and giving him all the love you can ever imagine.

today, zy was all smiley again. he was super fasinated by the soccer lamp at his jiujiu's room that he laughed and laughed and laughed....

my precious little boy.

2008-01-07T12:02:00.000+08:00

Life with zy has never been so happy and fulfilling. Sometimes I tell myself how blessed I am happily married to a great husband and now we have an adorable baby.

I used to think that having a successful career is all I needed. The kind of work satisfaction I yearned for. But now I think otherwise.

My pregnancy and now motherhood has changed me, my ideals, my perspectives, my whole life. Even though I still wish to work to satisfy my own ambitions, zy is the first to be on my mind for all considerations. Perhaps, having zy is a blessing in disguise for me to start a business, to do things i like?

Sometimes I wonder where zy came from.

Maybe he's angel from the sky...

2008-01-03T14:52:00.000+08:00

Our cheeky angel.

2007-12-30T19:32:00.000+08:00

these days, we love bringing zy out with us.

with fear of him being cranky, i always have the pacifier ready in my sling bag. but so far so good, zy has been a good boy. he seems to know that we are outside so he stops short at crying. yeah, sometimes we feel kinda troublesome to have zy with us when we have to lug so many things along like milk bottles, thermoflask, diapers etc. but we really feel blissed to be together as a family. couple life is great but our life with baby is even more joyful and fulfilling.

<-- look at zy's face as he peeps at me.

we brought him to see the snow at tanglin mall on xmas day!

2007-12-26T21:01:00.000+08:00

happy 2nd month, zy!

zy is a big baby now, at least that's what outsiders thought! Hahaha. Most people said zy looks like a 4-5month baby. & now that zy is alot more responsive and playful, he is so much cuter and angelic!

<--look at his cheeky face!

everyday i'll try my best to play with zy and make him laugh. i guess now he thinks i'm his playmate, always looking out for me. even jw feels jealous!*bleah*

alot of everyday effort okie...

i'm soooo happy!!

come play with him!=D

2007-12-21T16:10:00.000+08:00

yeah! finally i start my swimming lesson today!=P

for zy, i must master swimming so that jw and I can bring him for swimming once he turns six month. jw has promised to practise with me and i can't wait to swim with him too. hm. maybe i should buy a new set of bikini to reward myself first. Haha. jw always say i dress to the occasion but without the skill (like so pretty adidas tennis wear but lousy tennis strokes).

but who cares right. so long as we look good!

p/s: i lost another kg! total of about 15kg in less than 2 months!

see my happy face!! *^_^*

2007-12-19T12:21:00.000+08:00

we resorted to pacifier last night coz zy was kinda cranky and unwell. he vomited while i was feeding him and i got a shock. perhaps he was overfed as he kept wanting to latch on. & after throwing up, he nearly choked on his own vomit.

my heart ached terribly when i saw his pleading and exhausted face...

2007-12-17T16:13:00.000+08:00

zy and his favourite toy "haha" (toy name given by me coz i couldn't think of anything easier=P).

ok, i think zy kinda rejects me now coz i'm forcing him to do things he doesn't like such as lying on tummy, adult talks etc. Just now we played for an hour plus before i forced him to sleep. He kept struggling and crying in my arms till his grandma carried him.=( great i gave up. so tiring!

guess i must change my strategy to make him like me again. argh.

p/s. i lost another kg or two. *bleah*. That makes a total loss of almost 14kg in a month and half post delivery. Another 6kg more to go. yeah yeah.

2007-12-15T20:22:00.000+08:00

yeah for the next few days, Motorola will post advertisement on this blog! feel free to click and see the latest Motorola Q9h PDA Smart phone.

the website is soooo cute!!

2007-12-14T14:36:00.000+08:00

My grown up Christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end

This is my grown up Christmas list

my forever fav song every xmas. yeah xmas is coming. i love xmas. although i have never seen snow, i always imagine myself spending a white xmas with my love ones. i'm waiting for this little dream of mine to be fulfilled someday and i'm sure it will be.=)

zy has had a slight fever yesterday due to his first dose of 6in1 jab. well, the fever was expected so i didn't fret. but he was cranky the whole day and all i knew was to comfort and give him all my love. the blood test he did the day before really freaked him out. can you imagine a big needle poked into his tiny hand with blood collected in drops to fill two tubes? thankfully, this strong boy of ours is ok now.

2007-12-11T12:52:00.000+08:00

*yawn!*

okie i hv lost another kg. yeah. after stagnant for so long. but my appetite seems to get better recently. gosh.

zy loves to play nowadays. he's so curious with stuff. just this morning, he gazed at the picture of a cow for a really long period of time. hahaa. i'm starting to read him stories & introducing flashcards to him for entertainment!

2007-12-09T12:47:00.000+08:00

can you imagine how tired zy is since yesterday?

2007-12-08T21:45:00.000+08:00

jw is tired.

zy is tired.

i'm tired.

but we had a great day.=)

life is great afterall.

2007-12-07T11:11:00.000+08:00

my heart melts whenever zy smiles at me. & i feel guilty leaving him alone when i need to go out. just last night, i knew he was unhappy coz i was literally not around for the whole day. so i insisted sleeping with him by his side when i was back.

i laid face to face with him while he slept. and when he woke up, i asked him if he likes to sleep with me...

he smiled.
so sweetly.

2007-12-05T09:28:00.001+08:00

FINALLY jw understood the lyrics of this song.. my all time favourite.

updated my background song too.. =)

Title: Collin Raye - Love, Me lyrics

I read a note my grandma wrote back in 1923.
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me.
He said,"Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none,
but I loved your Grandma so."

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.
Get married in the first town we came to, and live forever.
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet, instead
I found this letter, and this is what it said:
If you get there before I do,
don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long I'll be.
But I'm not gonna let you down,
darling wait and see.
And between now and then,
till I see you again,
I'll be loving you.
Love, me.

I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away,
In the doorway of a church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray.
I know I'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years;
But as he said these words to her, his eyes filled up with tears.

If you get there before I do,
don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long I'll be.
But I'm not gonna let you down,
darling wait and see.
And between now and then,
till I see you again,
I'll be loving you.
Love, me.

Between now and then,
till I see you again,
I'll be loving you.
Love, me.

2007-12-05T00:34:00.000+08:00

we set up our xmas tree today.
SO HAPPY.=)
dar, thanks for always being so sweet and loving.*

2007-12-03T15:05:00.000+08:00

zy laughs today! i mean really laughing with sound "heh heh heh"! SOOOOOO CUTE!!

Was telling him "zy, mama thinks you are the first baby to drink milk so fast and furious till panting! why are you so funny??" And he let out a heartfelt laughter!! hahahahahaha!!!

2007-11-30T09:32:00.000+08:00

showered zy for the first time!

although it was a not so pro attempt, but at least i tried right?? hahahah and the lucky part is zy did not kick any fuss at all! that makes double happiness and satisfaction for me today!=)

anyway, i've a dilemma now. should i get back to working society? have been looking through the papers and yeah, there are a couple of jobs that interest me. I mean, i know i can never be a SAHM(stay at home mum). everyone knows. but i do not wish to miss out zy's growing up years. i want to see his "firsts" in everything, be it walking or talking. however, it seems to be a waste of my brain cells staying at home just to look after him.

oh... tell me! what should i do!

2007-11-29T11:26:00.000+08:00

Today is the 2nd day i brought zy down for morning walk and he seemed to love every bit of it by closing his eyes and enjoy the cool breeze. Every night before he sleeps, i'll ask him if he wants to have the morning walk the next morning and i'll take the cue when he smiles. And sure enough, he will be up and bright at about 7+am, waiting for me.

OH well, the day before, he kicked a big fuss at home and bullied his grandma! Can you imagine a baby bullying an adult! jw and I went for a haircut and dinner which took just a mere 5 hrs but zy seemed to sense our absence so he started screaming and stayed awake for the whole time!jw's mum really had no choice but to call us back as zy was getting out of hands and we had to rush back! And when we got back, he was smiling like an angel while falling asleep...

What a darling!!

2007-11-26T18:51:00.000+08:00

Zhuo Yan is finally 1 month old! I'm so happy for him and of coz, for myself coz today also marks the last day of my confinement!

Milestone at 1 month:
-Able to turn his head left and right for adjustments.
-Gazes at bright lights for long moments and blinks upon external stimulus.
-Shields himself from glaring lights by using his hands to cover his eyes.
-Recognises familiar voices and songs and seems to listen to conversations by shifting his eyes to search for source.
-Smiles spontaneously when I speak to him about the same things in soft but slightly high pitch voice.
-Learns to show his displeasure by "screaming" real loud.
-Able to lift his head at a small angle for a brief moment.
-Clenches his hands on an object (i.e. my finger).
-Gurgles and coos.

The only toys for the past month for dear Zhuo Yan have been me, jw and Zhuo Yan's grandma! Well well, guess it's time to buy some real toys for Zhuo Yan to let him play and learn at the same time!

-->First time without mittens! Super Sleepy Zhuo Yan doesn't seem to know where to place his exposed hands!=P And he doesn't seem to be bothered by foreign environment or people. Oh yah, did I mention he only responds to females talking to him?=P

2007-11-24T09:30:00.000+08:00

Just another 2 days to go...

and shopping, sashimi & exercise here I come!!!!!!!

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

2007-11-22T11:50:00.000+08:00

现代的爱情不是盲目的。

以前总以为有爱情就足够了。没面包也罢。

那晚看了“The Pursuit of Happyness"，很伤感却不敢哭，只因为在坐月子。

眼泪不停在眼睛里打转了好久。

jw常说工作队他很重要。如丢了饭碗，我一定会离开他。我却没那么想过。只要他爱我，天塌下了我也不管。但是，没经历过又何尝知道没面包的滋味？

2007-11-21T13:07:00.000+08:00

雨天。卓谚刚睡着。

12月份的天气虽然是湿湿的，心里却是暖暖的。

今天很开心。因为卓谚好像懂得和我们玩。

抱着问他：“卓谚会玩了吗？卓谚喜欢和爸爸妈妈玩是吗？”

他以很灿烂的微笑答复我。我忍不住大笑。哈哈！

为了卓谚，想学游泳。游泳算是我的克星。从小无论怎么学都扑空。现在下决心了，一定要学会，才能和jw带卓谚去游泳。不可能我只做观众对吧。

孩子都生了。还有什么好怕的。

2007-11-19T15:03:00.000+08:00

Zhuo Yan is 3 weeks old!

Somehow I strongly believe that Zhuo Yan understands whatever I tell him. You may not believe it, not even jw sometimes. But I can quote lots of examples really. Just this morning, he started throwing tantrums halfway through sleep. I knew he wanted to be cuddled (well, he's somewhat spoilt by my mother in law and jw for carrying him too much). So, I carried and coaxed him for a few minutes till he settles. & i tried to talk sense to him by telling him that he's a big boy and cannot be bad tempered. He cannot want to be hugged all the time to sleep. So, mama has to put him down to sleep on his own but mama will sleep beside him. I asked if he likes me to be by his side and he smiled.

So I "chatted" and sang to him, lying side by side, face to face. & indeed, slowly, he drifted to sleep but always opening and closing his tired eyes to make sure that I'm by his side...

So sweet.=)

2007-11-16T10:27:00.000+08:00

After blogging so many entries about Zhuo Yan, perhaps it's time to update a bit about myself. Ha.

Well, another 10 more days to the end of my confinement!! YEAH!!!!!!! Can you imagine not washing your hair and body for the past 20 days?? Sometimes I can't understand why when jw seems like dragging his body for shower. Bathing is such a luxury to me now and I can't wait to feel the gushing of water down my head and body!!

Obviously, I cannot stand being dirty, so I diligently wipe myself with warm boiled water and rice vinegar every morning. As for hair, I use dry hair powder and comb. In fact, my tolerance limit was reached on day 12! So I too wiped my hair but quickly blew dry! You can imagine my face! I felt so GOOD!!

As for food, I had the same dishes for 12 days and twice a day. That makes it 24 times. Think my mouth and stomach already knew what they would be getting even before I started each meal. It's always fish, long bean and pork. Cooked with ginger of course. My mouth started to ache after the 12th day and I had no choice but to ask my mother in law if I could have other dishes. And now, sometimes, I will have vinegar pork knuckles(which I think is quite nice actually after trying it for the first time in my life), ginger eggs and herbal soup.

During these days, I'm practically like a cow. Either latching Zhuo Yan on for milk or pumping the milk out for storage. Pumping can take an hour at times and before I can rest, Zhuo Yan starts waking up. Sometimes, I literally dozed off while feeding him but I sprang myself awake. Otherwise, Zhuo Yan and I will fall asleep side by side straight after feeding. To me, it's super comfortable for me and I can feel Zhuo Yan likes it too as he cuddles near my body.

For the past nights, I was really concussed, leaving jw to take care of Zhuo Yan alone. Poor jw but I really couldn't open my eyes at all and I even couldn't remember what I did or said to jw when he asked me in the morning. But resting well at night increases my milk supply which is what I've been aiming for!

NOw I'm looking forward to 26 Nov which is Zhuo Yan's 1st month birthday and the end of my confinement! My to-do list is soooooooo long!! Oh well, and my exercise plan starts too! Till today, I have lost about 11.5kg. Another 8.5 kg to go! ARGH! Shouldn't have gained that much weight during pregnancy... Now that I regret.

But being so vain, I sure will shake off the extra weight in no time! I still want to wear my levi jeans!

2007-11-14T15:49:00.000+08:00

My ideal life is just the three of us together.

Without all the unhappy and pressurising responsiblities.

But when is life ever perfect?

tell me.

p/s. ireally look forward to bring Zhuo Yan out with you.
Just the three of us.